Everybody Needs to Get into this Kinda Shit

Egging A Hummer

Skateboarding Nostalgia

Dandi Wind 2010

Worst Computer Product of 07

After trying out Windows Vista several times for work purposes.

Finding it relatively awkward and un-intuitive in nature.

Let alone all the Security risks associated with the product.

And not even mentioning the pure hype that revolved around it's perpetually delayed release.

I grant Windows Vista with my "Worst Computer Product of 08" Seal of Disapproval.

Bitch You Fine

This is definitely one of the hottest girls that i know...too bad she is French. Something about that nationality is just a big turn off.

Hahahahahahahaha

Israeli Girls part 2

For Fucks Sake Man...

I gotta move

Weird Christmas

My families Christmas started out like any other Christmas.

All the gift giving and usual bullshit was going smoothly.

When it was all done, and the family was ready to disperse...my dad called us all back in and told us that he had RETIRED.

i am still not believing this shit.

Anybody who knows me, and who might have met my dad knows that he is a workaholic.

I am waiting for him to have a heart attack...

I swear the man wont be able to have a life without work.

But then again...none of you do...im simply yelling at a wall as usual.

Merry Christmas ...and all that bullshit...

Ill take this under my tree...

Israeli Girls

Good Grief...after a brief stroll through this great internet of ours...

I've decided that I need an Israeli Girlfriend

Who wouldn't with these ladies as examples???








The ladies of the Holy Land really are God's Chosen people

hahahahaha

What I think about on Friday Morning

Ya, thats right. Internet Explorer Sucks. Pretty Bad...

If you need reasons, your probably just an ignorant schmuck who likes being spoonfed your thought processes by Bill Gates.

Or your just to lazy to try and think for yourself and try other products...

But here, ill list off a few reasons for you

1. Awkward User interface
2. Not very customizable (due to lack of open source programming)
3. Spam ???....Pop Ups ??? Ya...you'll get alot of that in IE...not in Firefox though...

I think thats enough for now...I've made a few of those Microsoft programmers get their tighty whities in a bunch.

HA

Wishful Thinking

This is the sort of scene I plan on coming home to every day after Im 25.

If only that "mind over matter" crap really worked....

hahahahahahaha

Christmas Spirit

I apologize to my imaginary readers for my lack of content...

But if you must know why I am lagging so hard on this blog...

Just think about your parents telling you for the first time that Santa Claus is a total fucking fraud...

Here is another music video for you to shake your head at

If I Only Was a Jew - aka Happy Hanukkah

10 Reasons I wish I were Jewish

1. I would have one more reason to feel like an outsider to the world

2. I would automatically be shuffled into the film industry just by attending the right temple

3. I could justify a diet change simply due to religion, instead of how i hate all the chemicals that are being pumped into animals these days.

4. I could rock the "star of david" and not feel like a total guido on the inside

5. More religious holidays...even if they are a tad weak.

6. I could get out of going somewhere just by saying "you dumbass...its the Sabbath...i cant drive!!!"

7. That Minora thing...ya...way better than a Christmas Tree

8. I would have an excuse for wearing a hat constantly.

9. Who wouldnt want to be one of "God's Chosen People"

10. And yes...Jewish girls are hot

Junkyard

That is probably cooler than any of the radio filth that the majority of you peons partake in.

Women Need To Be

Women need to start being a little less of the heinous cunt sort, and a tad more like this....



Elegant, subtle and gentle.

Thanks Sarah

Skateboarding Helps

For the better part of my life, I have been skateboarding.

I do this so much that it is practically a lifestyle.

The world may look down upon my kind in general, but these people base their opinions on the stereotypes.

For me, skateboarding has been a life saver...keeping my sanity intact when im stressed. helping me forget that i am a lonely fucker when i am without a lady in my life. Not to mention, keeping me as a skinny lil bastard for years on end.

But there are some fringe benefits that I have recently started to find utterly amusing.

1. keeps me showering on a semi-regular basis
2. keeps me from smoking 3 packs a day
3. inspires my artistic side
4. clears my head for when i need to focus on something (sort of like ritalin)
5. gives me an excuse to get away from everybody

Just wanted to share that with you mr. blog

I know that you dont even like my useless ramblings

Wasting Time, Wasting Words

Probably the easiest way to waste time is using google search. I do it for hours at a time sometimes while i cant figure out anything to do. (Which happens quite a bit while I am at work)

Wikipedia is probably the main time waster for me...Ill hit the google search about something I think might be interesting, and usually wikipedia is the first site that pops up...and BAM...20 minutes later...im searching again hahahahaha

and on another note...thanksgiving...and the holiday season in general is gonna suck...

i hate being lonely...

oh wait, that is why i blog

Well Shit

Well Shit...I havent posted in quite some time it seems...but hey. That doesnt really matter. I dont think I have more than one or 2 regular readers to this fucking piece of shit blog hahahahahahahaha.

But either way, life has been hectic. Filming weddings, breaking ribs, getting sick, losing sleep over nothing, get my job title switched around on me...thats what I have been up to. Its nothing to spectacular...all in a days work really. hahahahahahaha

More of the usual horseshit is coming soon...

I just feel that neglecting my blog for longer than 2 weeks should be punishable by a dozen lashes...

Punch Me in the Head

10 Reasons to punch myself in the head right now

1.Im sick, and I also gave this fucking cold to my roommate (wait...thats more of a reason for him to punch me in the head)

2. I havent had an art show in 4 years...

3. I havent painted in a year...

4. I always want what I cant have

5. Never remembering the "quit when your ahead" rule, when gambling

6. Not sleeping enough

7. For actually making depressing lists like this

8. Not having the job I want right now

9. For always barely missing the mark

10. For falling off the "no red meat" wagon

Your Mother Hates You

With a total lack of things to say right now...

I give you another one of my workplace time wasting projects

Southern California is Burning...

SoCal (my area of residence) is burning...

and I dont give a shit

this place needed to get cleaned up anyway

Nothing is better than hearing Tom Cruise and John Travolta whine and moan about the possibility of losing their homes...

Or let alone them trying to fathom and then speak on, what its like for the financially challenged to lose everything

Scientologist's sure do know how to be douche bags

Thanks Gloria Steinem...you bitch

the common consensus is that the sexes are switching sociolgical rolls

im going to blame (in no particular order)

Fat people

abercrombie & fitch

the television shows : sex & the city, ellen & oprah

Oprah Winfrey

Jack Johnson

the feminist movement

political correctness (which is the bastard son of the feminist movement)

and Paul Frank

Top Ten Things To Do While Bored At Work

(In company usefulness order)

1. Organize Files

2. Review Emails

3. Stare Blankly at Screen

4. Review Personal Emails

5. Write a Blog about Work

6. Myspace

7. Photoshop your bosses head onto a troll's body

8. View websites involving scantily clad women

9. Fall asleep with your eyes open

10. Photoshop your bosses head onto a scantily clad woman

The Government Hates You...Ron Paul Loves You

Hey Ron Paul

Thanks for Stating the Obvious

Your the only one that makes sense in this joke of a political system

Riding Bikes is a Crime

Hey...do you know you need a license to ride a bike?

Oh, whats even better...you'll get a ticket if you dont have one!!!!

ya...thats true...

ooooohhhhhh, and i forgot the best part...

if some dumbass thug kids are chasing you down while your riding your bike, and you ride in front of a bus (which happens to be about 20 feet away and barely moving)...You will get a ticket for doing so???

Ya, you will get the ticket...and while Johnny Law is righting you the ticket...those thugs will be about 50 feet down the road...doing pelvic thrusts at you and flipping you off...

ya...its a wonderful world we live in...justice is served up like a steaming pile of shit every day...

Thanks Officer Douglas of the Long Beach Police Department...you do some quality police work

A Real Dame

This is Becky, my lady friend for today. I met her at a coffee shop while on lunch break. She just got out of a bad marriage, and is already taking it out on me...and probably men in general. Right after meeting her, she threw her coffee at me, and then dragged me back to her place, where i took this photo of her.

When I first arrived at her house, she told me to sit down while she fixed me a proper drink. After a bit of small talk, she told me i had no business being in her house and practically pushed me out the front door. But right as she was about to small the door on my ass. She grabbed my shirt collar, and told me to be back at her doorstep by 7, or dinner would be getting cold.

Now this is the kind of woman I can deal with.........

If only an ounce of this was true...its a shame

Just One of Those Days

I am in severe need of ritalin.

I spent my day editing a wedding all day. Even calling out sick this morning from my "dayjob" to get it done by its deadline.

But what do i do?

I sit on myspace, and aim 60% of the time...

and another 20% of the time, im wandering around the apartment smoking cigarettes and what not.

I hate this ADD shit, even worse...deadlines for shitty weddings.

I am in the middle of a funk

My Life as an IT Manager

The life and times of an IT manager are simple. You come to work each day and either one of two things happens. Either nothing is happening at all, and you strain to look as though you are useful to the company; or you are in a thrust into a panic when a server crashes and you can do nothing to stave off the crys of "NOBODY CAN WORK" or "HOW LONG IS THIS GOING TO TAKE".

As it is blatantly obvious, it is a work environment of extremes. It's all or nothing, nothing and everything.

The excess boredom causes one to get into all sorts of erroneous activities. From seeking out pictures of vintage pin up girls, flirting with girls via those "social websites" and all the way to the opposite end of the mental spectrum to spending hours on wikipedia "enlightening" ones-self, the ever present "fucking around in photoshop", and God forbid...blogging.

So, what does one really do with their spare time?

I can honestly say " i dont even know " half of the time. I will spend hours messing around with settings, figuring out the subtle nuances of a computer program. I swear i spend more time screwing around with something, than actually using it. Therefore whatever time was spent, is most likely a waste of time, and in saying that i can safely say, that the majority of my day is spent "wasting time".

My Life as a Wedding Video Editor

There isn’t much to the life of a wedding video editor. We sit at a computer and review footage of what others have done. We make their day of dreams look as pretty as possible. There isn’t much to it at all, just cut out the bullshit and fluff up the pillows.

We know that for the most part, they will hardly watch it at all. We don’t really expect them to either. In all actuality its just a silver lining to their one special day. Just another ego boost for the bride who has dreamed of that day since she was a child, and this truly is her one day to say “me me me…its all about ME!!!”, and she will get it.

It’s rather sad that someone would ever want to be this selfish. Women as a species constantly portray their selfish desires in everyday life, but the wedding really is the giant orgasm of selfishness.

The bride wears a heavily adorned white dress and stands on stage all day; she is the focus of all the attention. This attention is what she craves everyday but perhaps she isn’t afforded it as much as she would like. This is why she needs the man, to shower her with as much attention as she desires, and when his attention is no longer to her liking, she will divorce him…taking half of all that he is worth upon getting sick of his presence. Only then to repeat the process once again, more likely than not.

Women as a species crave attention and change. This is their downfall, for in this mentality they will never be satisfied. Their brains are emotionally (as opposed to logically) aligned, that is a simple matter of biological science. They typically cannot put their emotions into words, thus signifying that they cannot pinpoint what exactly is wrong/right, only some abstract lump of emotion that wells up in their gut. Logically speaking, an object that cannot be described or is beyond words, is generally regarded as superfluous, and is to be disregarded due to its inability to be comprehended (atheists often take a similar approach when stating their belief in the lack of proof in God).

So why then must women base their entire lives off of something that they are unable to explain? Are they unable to realize that something indescribable IS NOT something to make decisions off of?

This is something that i doubt even women can explain.