Wannabe Bike Messengers

HAHAHA...Im glad i dont fall into this category...

Court...Jeremy...You 2 are pushing it

Mac Vs. PC : The Transformer Version

Sexy People

Sexy People

For those of you that dont know...
This blog is M-FFFing hilarious...makes any bad day seem fucking wonderful

Simply for the fact that "oh, at least we made it out of the 80's & early 90's....NOT looking like these tards.

HA

Nick Cave: Red Right Hand

Diora Baird

Just to make my ladyfriend pout a lil...

hehehehehehe

So What???

So who really reads this blog???

I can tell that i have a slight steady stream of readers...

But my question to you guys is...what do you like seeing?

The pin-ups? The random posts about nothing in particular? The long rants about my life?

I cant really figure it out...so i just THROW IT ALL IN THERE...hahahahahaha

I would like to improve this blog as much as i can so i can actually get a few more steady readers...so please, do tell me...what do you like??? what dont you like??? should i just shut this fucking blog down and stay away from ranting and raving via the internet??? (im much better at that in person anyway)

So ya...id appreciate the comments

Home Security System

Now this is the kinda home security system that i want.

Just make sure you dont leave your socks on the floor...

She might flip things around on you

Ed Wood: The music video

Watchmen Trailer #2

Good Nurse

What insurance policy do i need to get this kinda bedside manner?

Pin-ups & Photoshop

START LEARNING PHOTOSHOP ALREADY!!!

MY WAY...THE EASY WAY

Pretty Girls in Skimpy Outfits & A Simple Tutorial

Couldn't be more painless

Girl on the Bus

Darlin, i realize that you might have had one of those "long nights" with that dude that you met at the office party.

But please remember to at least bring a different pair of panties with you when you even think there is a remote possibility that the ones your currently wearing will get all stretched out.

Im just lookin out for you here girl...

I aint complainin though

Election Day

If you voted for the Republicans

Just realize what your getting

Etnies: Sheckler 3

This is the new "Pro Model" for Ryan Sheckler... and um...
-clears throat-.....
-tries to hide massive grin-
It's his 3rd shoe from Etnies....

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??????

All those mallrats and bro-sef's are gonna love this shit

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

what a fucking joke

Kids

Kids Draw the Cutest Things

How To: SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF WOMEN

Frustrated Video Dater Loses His Cool - Watch more Free Videos

The Mercy Seat

Another Nick Cave video for your enjoyment

Thought for the Day

I like taking pretty girls on long walks off short piers.

Really Simple

Please, this is really simple...

DONT VOTE FOR MCCAIN

LA PEQUENA SARAH PALIN

MOTHER FUCKING HILARIOUS SHIT

Mugshot P2

Self Explanatory

The Unborn : Trailer

This is from the same dude that wrote the Dark Knight...it therefore shouldnt be less that a B

Im intrigued

Safari for Windows

Mac...I must apologize.

I cheat on you a lil bit with Firefox...I only do it when surfing the web.

I know this is hard for you to hear, but really, in the internet world...your just not quite there yet. Sure your sleek and fast and easy to use. But I just cant customize your interface to my EXACT needs...I really am sorry.

Do you need a tissue?

I'm just not into your Safari Browser...on either interface

Please understand...Firefox is just better for me...It suits my needs...I'll leave now...you go ahead and cry all you need.

Talking To Myself

So i am starting to get the idea that nobody REALLY reads this blog.

Perhaps my friends glance at it, or maybe the occasional completely bored out of their mind web surfer stumbles up on this chunk of cyber space and gives it a once over and subsequently moves on.

Let me assure you, there is a method to my madness, and also I never claim to be a writer...perhaps i jot down a few ideas for art projects of some sort...but never...ever have i claimed that "ooooh i could write like that".

I was never good at being compelling via long scripted monologues, all of those people that know me in the real world...know that I am a tad more "off the cuff"....to put it lightly.

Now, let me tell you what this blog is about.

Simply put...its about my brain. Of all the stimulus that I process throughout the day...that which I think "oooooh someone else might want to see this"...if I have time...I post it. Or there is the other way...which essentially comes down to "I am bored as fuck at the moment, and I have some shit on my mind...and either Ill address it in the blog or ill just write down some nonsense and vent my frustrations that way" (which is an example of what is going on right now in this post...)

So, for the 18 or so of you who have at one point read this blog and no longer do so, due to the fact that you thought "what the fuck is this guy rambling about...there is no point to this thing!!!"

I wholeheartedly agree with you...but yes...there is a point...whatever brain fart I am having at a given time...I'm gonna fucking post it...and if you dont like it...you dont have to read it. Arent "blogs" supposed to be a journal of sorts? Well fucking hell...thats what Im gonna do...even if I am talking to myself.

Alicia Witt

Alicia Witt is pretty damn hot...

but i think her best acting work was in Dune

Might wanna step it up girl, cant be claiming your the younger sister of the Kwisatz Haderach forever now

The Watchmen Trailer

i have to wait till march to see this??? FUCKING HELL...looks almost as good as the Dark Knight...so it damn well better be worth it...

America is going to Hell

This is America's new flag design...supposedly its going to be unveiled when Palin takes the presidency.

She thinks its cute and will look good on her SUV.

Oh, and good job with the economy Mr. Bush...our capitalistic system is getting its ass handed to us by THE COMMUNISTS!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...perhaps we should rethink being self righteous douchebags and get down to business...oh wait...Americans dont care...they just wanna know about George Clooney growing a mustache.

America is going to hell

Amazon.com's "Video On Demand"

Due to the shitty selection of movies on iTunes and the credit card verification constantly being down...I recently decided to try out Amazon.com's "Video on Demand" feature

And I must say, for a Mac user such as myself, you really really suck.

Why only the streaming option? No download capability? Are you in a hissy fit against iTunes???

Thats kind of pathetic if you ask me. I will not be purchasing another movie from you...

NETFLIX here i come!!!

Best Mugshot EVER

I had no idea that the Grill and the Mullet could be worn simultaneously...

I swore it was not humanly possible...and yet, this man is obviously one step up on the evolutionary ladder.

Riley Hawk

Im not much of a Tony Hawk fan at all...but his kid Riley sure is a lil machine...

Rise of the 2nd Generation Pro's

Paul Newman

So I am a little late to hear the news, but I just found out Paul Newman recently passed on.

Sorry to see ya go...

and I sure know that my friend Rae certainly mourned your loss

Shit, i wonder how many hot girls mourned your loss...

Damn...you celebrities get all the perks, even in death you have girls swooning for you.

You Know...

You know you hvae a "keeper" when your girl sends you these kinda photos just to "catch you off guard" while your at work...

Mission accomplished lil lady

Wise Words

Be Nice

People...could you PLEASE be considerate of your friendly neighborhood cyclist's???

This is my buddy Derek, and an extremely inconsiderate driver (aka a fucking asshole), decided to crowd him and essentially forced him into a parked car.

The photo above is the result of that individuals actions.

We will be seeing alot more cyclist's each and every day as gas prices go through the roof and the economy continues to go down the toilet.

Today you might be the asshole driver that causes these sorts of actions, but in 6 months this could be you.

Consider your karma

Spell Check

This photo was taken at a nice lil hole-in-the-wall burrito joint near my house...

"Reefeels" are 50 cents...but spell check is free

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Bad Month for Skateboarding

So this month has been a pretty big bummer for the skateboarding community. Earlier this month, Krooked rider Van Wastell passed on...

And today lil ripper Johnny Ramano, lost his battle with cancer

Have a good ride guys

Insomnia: Great Timing

So i managed to find out about the wonders of online streaming movies tonight

At about oh 9 PM...and now 5 hours later...im completely sucked in and wide awake.

Fuck my Hollywood Video Card...most movies are total shit anyway...and now i can watch shitty movies WITH the shitty quality...hahahhahahaha

oh ya, and i wont get any amount of decent sleep what-so-ever

as usual, i have perfect timing

Hard Times

Perhaps you may have noticed, there is an economic crisis going on. Irresponsible idiots are losing their homes, slackers are moving back into their parents basements and the old jocks and party animals (high school hero's turned life failures) are getting thrown out onto the streets.

If your like me, you have a college degree and a decent job. But now your looking at your bank account and wondering "what the fuck...i used to have money to burn". Its true, i used to go out every night of the week and still have a decent sized bank account. But now, to maintain that bank account I have been forced to be a bit more selective with what i do.

You could lock yourself in your room, eat only ramen and beans and ditch out on all your hobbies. But who the fuck wants to do that??? I certainly wouldn't, i actually value my lifestyle.

So now, what do you do to maintain your lifestyle but keep a bit of that hard earned cash in your pocket?

1. Skip out on doing those things that you don't exactly want to do but are being nagged by a few friends to do. You should have more than 1 set of friends, so ditch out on the weak shit and go for something a little bit more your style.

2. Never pay for peoples drinks unless they are your friends. If you buy a stranger a drink, they more than likely will not buy you one in return. Yes boys, this includes hot girls...let the suckers do that.

3. Be practical. Ride your bike to places that are close by, dont eat out every night and please dont think your $300 jeans are a necessity.

All in all, it comes down to being practical. America, in it's infinite capitalistic/corporate mentality has drained this from it's society over the years. Now, perhaps we can stitch up our shirts instead of heading over to the mall to buy 5 replacements (along with 2 or 3 other items that we "convince" ourselves that we need).

Wise up people, keep your pockets fat...stop watching TV, go read a book...dont go to Taco Bell for 2 out of 3 meals, cook yourself dinner...and only buy your friends booze (and your girlfriend...when she needs one).

Sarah Palin

Not like I was going to vote for the Republicans anyway. But now that Sarah Palin is insinuating a threat of war with Russia. Amongst all the other measures that she supported: offshore drilling, seceding Alaska from the Union, the "Bridge to Nowhere". This woman has no idea what she is doing...she can't even raise her own family properly.

(She will also likely be the President if voted in due to McCain's age...probably dead from a heart attack or stroke 2 years into office...that is if we don't go to war as soon as he takes office)

Anyone would have to be an inbred idiot to vote for the Republicans.

Please America, if you value any sort of peace in your lives, do not vote for this lunatic.

Return of the Fanny Pack

Have you all gone INSANE!!!!

High End Fashion Snots are bringing the Fanny Pack back into our lives and are renaming it a "waist pack".

We got rid of these a while ago people...and with good reason.

Is society starting to crumble?

Is the effects of excessive television and George Bush finally taking a few steps into the realm of fashion???

OOOOH THE HUMANITY

Google Chrome

Google will now officially begin a full scale invasion of the world.

And nobody will really complain about it...

Nick Cave & The Birthday Party: Swampland

This song is on several of my iTunes playlists. It's a perfect "get angry" type song...but with the eloquence of Mr. Nick Cave.

I apologize for the shitty video, it was the only one I could find on Youtube...it is definitely one of the most underrated Nick Cave songs out there...and of course Nick Cave is one of the most under appreciated musicians out there...

OK FUCK IT...im done talking...here is the video and the lyrics.

Enjoy




Quixanne, ah'm in its grip
Quixanne, ah'm in its grip
Sinken in the mud
Patron-saint of the Bog.
They cum with boots of blud
Wit pitchfawk and with club
Chantin out mah name
Got doggies strainin onna chain
Lucy, ah'll love ya till the end!
They hunt me like a dog
Down in Sw-a-a-a-amp Land!


So cum mah executioners! Cum bounty hunters!
Cum mah county killers--for ah cannot run no more
Ah cannot run no more
Ah cannot run no more
No I can't!
Lucy, ya won't see this face agin
Wheb ya caught ya swing and burn...
Down in Sw-a-a-a-amp Land!


The trees are veiled in fog
The trees are veiled in fog
Like so many jilted brides
Now they're all breakin down and cry
Cryin tears upon mah face
Cryin tears upon mah face
And they smell of gasolene
a-a-a-a-ah- scr-e-e-e-a-am
Lucy, ya made a sinner out of me
Now ah'm burnin like a saint
Down in Sw-a-a-a-amp Land!


So cum mah executioners! Cum mah bounty huntahs!
Cum mah county killers--ya know ah cannot run no more
No ah cannot run no more.

Shitty Skate Shoe

Ok, I never thought i would be one to talk shit on a shoe from one of the Sole Tech. Companies. Especially one designed by Rick McCrank (the dude is one of the gnarliest guys out there and he has been around forever in pro skateboarding).

But the Es Avers shoe is a piece of shit.

I skated it for one day and got 4 blisters just due to the interior stitching being exposed.

Shitty....

Do not buy this shoe.

EMERICA:OG Skate Shoe

So Emerica is Bringing Back the MJ1 and Renaming it the OG.

I Sure as shit love that idea...I had like 4 pairs of these when i was 16 and burning through shoes. I swore by these things for a while.

So Fuck YES skate companies...Bring back the classics

The Sisters of Mercy: Walk Away

Dr. Avalanche is rather under appreciated.

X files: I Want to Believe

Yes, I am a nerd. I accept that. I can firmly say that I have seen EVERY X Files episode ever made (due to the fact that I own every seasons box set, and naturally I binged on them season after season after season).

But I must say. That even for this geek, there is something called integrity. Granted the series itself fell apart towards the end. The cast & crew undoubtedly growing wearing of endlessly creating episodes in search of the truth…but never quite finding it…even after all was said and done.

Even so, the latest X files movie that was produced. Was, Is, and will be…A MOTHER FUCKING TRAVESTY. It was like they used a rejected script from season 9, took a shit on it and then turned it into a movie.

I want to Believe….

That they could have made a better movie

Weird...

Skateboarding in Japan

Richie Jackson...eat your heart out

Best Damn Skate Shoe #3

I haven't skated this one...but it looks just like the Emerica Leo Pro Model.

And if that has anything to do with it, and knowing that Supra is a Damn Good Company.

Well Fuck ya, put this on my "Should Buy" list.

All My Friends Are In The Fishtank

i woke up this morning and a severed unicorns head was lying next to me. the blood was seeping onto myself as well as the sheets. i could only muster up the mental energy to conclude that the horn would be of good use to me as a back scratcher, although i would much rather have a white rhino horn.

a knock on the door came rather abruptly when the labrador walked in, accompanied by the dodobird who was holding a candlestick in his beak. much to my suprise the candlestick spoke first "cockateal cockateal cockateal miss beale". labrador paid no attention as he generally does and continued to sniff at the dodobirds ass, who paced back and forth attempting to reveal the source of his slightly erotic discomfort.

no need i thought, for the painting of junkies was now beginning to dip with what seemed to be a seemingly endless flow of ectoplasmic white goo from ears and mouth. the wind rushes through hall, creeping through the narrow slits of creeking locked doors. I hide in one of these, guess which...number 13. barely concealed but hopeful, blackout, blackout.

i had no doubt in my mind that when i opened my eyes dead children would be circled around me. quite similar to gullivers travels in an obscure manner, but i had no choice now for curtis turtis tortise turtle would never make the walk up the staircase even to the 2nd floor in time to assess the situation.

and yet when i awoke i was not surrounded by the children who had tied me down, however, as i have been found out only by mr. stardust. i was walking the tightrope line that is the roof, foot over foot over foot over foot, quite seamlessly if you might ask. it was only in my unconcious state that i had managed to successfully navigate such a task.

and now for the fall. into of all places the fishtank that was ever so carefully placed by myself yet 2 hours prior to this entire sequence of amorously fashioned events.

The Onion

Supreme Court Rules Death Penalty Is 'Totally Badass'

I laughed my ASS OFF

Love and Caring

Ahhh

Time to dust off the dirty ol blog.

Not much has changed since this blog of mine went stagnant a few weeks back. Simply a little bit more overworked and there is the stinking realization that i am slightly underpaid.

My birthday came and went, had a shit ton of fun and found out who the real friends were.

Vacation plans got all fucked up...but probably for the best. Since i changed my plane tickets around...even after the fees associated with having bad luck...i have $50 for food and booze on the plane (that might just get me a sandwich and a coke...). Oh, and i get an extra day to spend with bella...and ya, thats the most important part

Even at 25, im still skateboarding. Definitely not like when i was 16...or even 21. But despite the nagging aches and pains, the joint cracking and the tendency to stay on the ground a little bit longer than i used to when i fall. It is still much better than being a typical peon, watching sunday football with a beer and potato chips.

I know that for better or worse, that a long time ago, i began my trip through this life on a road that isnt traveled all that much. It has its highs and lows, its long flat boring sections where you nearly fall asleep at the wheel, and of course the obligatory pot-holes.

Like I could give a shit though. I see and hear about "normal" people, and im glad i have always shyed away from what that herd does...they are far more prone to having a shit ton of traffic on their highway of life.

I'm sorry, but i have better things to do than sit in traffic and wait for Lost to come on. I am not sinking to the level of dumb beasts, like the swine that make the world go round.

Give me the sunshine acid and let me swerve around the road in the middle of bat country GOD DAMN IT.

PussyCat Dolls

Sluts that can sing???

I thought we had that covered with Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears and that whole Pop music scene.

But now its just blatant disregard for class/quality/talent.

People...let the porn stars stick to porn!!! LET THE MUSICIANS DO THE MUSIC MAKING!!!!

STOP with all this cross-over bullshit...PLEASE

Jesse Jackson .... DOUCHE

So apparently Jesse Jackson "wants to cut his (barak obama) nuts off"

But naturally, he is pussy footing around now and is "deeply sorry" for the comments he made about our (probable) future president.

Hey, Jesse...why dont you apologize for calling yourself "reverend"... last time i checked, you never were the pastor of a church...nor are many of your actions very "Christian" at all. And #2...why don't you apologize for perpetuating racism in our country? That issue was largely dealt with and done YEARS AGO...so why dont you STOP MAKING AN ASS OUT OF YOURSELF...we can barely understand your mumblings anyway.

Didn't you and Al get the memo that most of America thinks your just a bunch of has-been lunatics?

Office Space

I dont want to turn into Milton from Office Space...

i need a new job

LOLCat...Or is it LOLFox?

Anne Hathaway

The only Real Reason to go see Get Smart

George Carlin

Comedic Great George Carlin died earlier today

The world is slowly but surely losing all of its good people

Best Damn Skate Shoe #2

The Leo by Emerica

One of the best shoes out, im about to go buy my 5th pair.

Only drawback is the severely sore feet and knees from excessive skating

HA...

(yes, i want these for my birthday)

Lindsay Lohan

So "LiLo" has gone Lesbo...

Should anyone really care?

I would bet a weeks paycheck that she is doing it for the publicity...and FUCK, i would bet a months worth of paychecks that within 3 months she is back swinging for her original team.

We all know you are a 2 bit actress, that craves attention...

So just admit it Lindsay...

You turned rug muncher just so you could make the fucktards over at the tabloids give you a new lease on fame.

Isn't the American populous tired of this sensationalized crap???

Probably not, they all voted for Bush

Best Damn Skate Shoe #1

The Emerica Andrew Reynolds 3

This is seriously one of the best damn skate shoes out right now.

And finally they got the colorway right...

fucking shit, i want them....NOW...if not yesterday

Fuck

Fuck blogging

nobody reads this shit, and i feel like a freak at a sideshow...hahahahahaha

oh, and did anybody else notice that the google "favicon" changed???

ya...i notice weird shit like that

Sparks

I drink these on my lunch breaks...

BOOYEAH

Black Music Month

So apparently June is "Black Music Month"....

so my question is...WHY THE FUCK DO WE NEED A MONTH dedicated to something that IS FORCE-FED TO US ON A DAILY BASIS....????

Al Sharpton, your a fucking asshole

Stating the Obvious....Good Job Fark.com

Suck it

Current Obsessions

Here are my current top 10 obsessions at the half way point of 2008

(really just neurotic habits that i'll get over pretty quickly)

1. Online Poker (seriously, im playing it NOW)

2. Pin Up girls...(ya i actually think ill be sticking with this one for a while)

3. Pondering what I could get for my birthday

4. NY vacation Tension

5. Thinking about syphoning gas

6. Gmail

7. T-Shirt Concept Project (hopefully this one actually sticks)

8. Having a Beer with my Lunch

9. Lunch Break Mini Skate Session

10. Cutting back on the Cigarette Intake

Every Girl You've Ever Dated

This is a Repost off of craigslist.com

I heard this posting read on the Tom Leykis show yesterday, and thought to myself, I GOTTA FUCKING POST THIS

hahahahaha

ok, here it is

"Every Girl You've Ever Dated"

Knock knock

Oh hi, how's it going? It's me! Every girl ever. I'm really looking forward to this date. I'm not nearly as attractive as you remember me being because when we met the bar was dark and you were drunk. Come on in.

Let's start off with the unavoidable tour of my incredibly typical post-college-girl apartment.

You'll notice that I went ahead and purchased everything that Ikea and Pier 1 have ever produced. There's my decorative birdcage over there even though I don't have a bird, and there's my gay wicker basket with bamboo poles in it. I don't know what the hell that's thing's all about, but I bought it.

Hey check it out, I have more candles in here than a Roman Catholic Church. Doesn't it smell like Hazelnut!? If I were to light all of my candles at once you could see my apartment from space! I fucking love candles!

Come on into the living room.

Oh, I see you met my cat there. That's "Freddy Paws Jr." Why don't you pet him and act like you like cats even though you hate cats? There you go. Oh, he took a little swing at your eye there huh? Yeah, he'll do that. Hey, let's check out the kitchen.

Hey look at my refrigerator. There are pictures all over it! Look at all these pictures of me and my equally vacuous friends from college! We were so crazy! You can tell we're really good friends because our faces are all pressed up against each other like that.

And check it out, we're holding up alcoholic beverages to the camera in every single picture. That's to prove that we were partying. College was so fun! But of course I don't talk to any of these girls anymore because now they're all bitches.

Let's go back into the hallway!

Hey, before we leave I'm going to go in the bathroom for ten minutes for some mysterious reason. Why don't you sit awkwardly in my big, stupid, round papizan chair over there while you wait for me. It's like you're sitting in a hug! Be right back...

Sorry that took a half an hour, I don't know what the hell I was doing in there. Let's go!

Wow! Thanks for opening my car door for me! I'm totally going to blow that meaningless gesture out of proportion and delude myself into thinking that you're a really good guy because that's what I want to believe.

Well, here we are at the restaurant. No thanks waiter, I don't need to see a menu, just bring me some expensive things. Hey I know, while we wait, I'll tell you all about my unspeakably boring job. I hate my boss. He's a jerk! I might get another job. Maybe something in pharmaceutical sales.

Now let's talk about my family. I love my family. I want you to love my family. I want my family to love you. I want you to make love to my family! I want you to go golfing with my semi-retarded brother Travis. That would be so God damned cute!

Wow! I can't believe I ordered all this food! I have no intention of eating any of it. No thanks waiter, we don't need a box. Just throw it out.

Hey, I've got an idea, let's go to a bar and have an after dinner drink! It'll be great, it will be just like how we're drinking here, only it will be louder and we'll have to stand up. Come on!

See, isn't this better? Oh hey, what a coincidence. Look over there! It's a group of my friends that I knew was going to be here. Let's go over there so that they can judge you!

Hey, I have to go to the bathroom for a half an hour again for some reason. You can stay here and talk to my unbelievably hideous friend Christine! Christine's so ugly she scares kids! Talk to her! She has a job and a family that she wants to talk to you about too. Be right back.

I'm back! Sorry I was gone for three hours, there was a line. I want to go home now.

Well here we are at my door again. This was really fun for me and not you. You should pretend like we're going to do it again sometime! Maybe I'll see you at Target a few months from now and we can avoid eye contact because you never called me. Here, have this awkward goodnight kiss that's as empty as my soul. Good night!

Lou Pearlman

You got what you deserved you fat fuck.

25 years in prison for the 200 million you bilked out of investors.

They should have added 10 years for every shitty band you created.

To bad they didn't go ahead and add "looks like a fucking pervert" charges too.

ScumBag

Links For DoucheBags

The $175 Burger just hit the market, on news of Oil hitting $129 a Barrell.

GreenPeace wants ALL the green stuff in the world...So there can be less destruction of other green stuff.

And Finally, Mozilla ponders suicide.

Robert Rauschenberg

1925-2008

Your Absence Will Be Hard To Fill

Rest Well Good Sir

Kate Hudson

Miss Hudson, I regret to inform you that, you are not that hot.

Your like the slutty girl at the frat party that gets looked over until the majority of the "hot" girls are taken.

I mean sure, your cute...and im sure your a fabulous lay...

But "men" generally like breasts and hips....you, madam....have a 12 year old boys body...

So...Please...keep making those shitty romantic comedies and milk that role Almost Famous (your only half way decent work)

Shallow minded sluts all over western civilization will look up to you...and the rest of us...will wonder why your a "celebrity"

Bad Parenting

Just fucking Read THIS

Emmy Rossum

Miss Rossum

Every Straight Male wants to bang the crap out of you...

I think you should allow yourself to be cloned...

it would be for the good of mankind as a whole...

Please???

Sex and the City

if you have testicles...you will not see this movie

not only will it pussify you and solidify your status of "whipped"

but there also happens to be the worst fashion...i mean EVER...flouted about by these women.

Sienna Miller

Miss Miller...

I will say that yes, you are hot as fuck.

However, you can't act for shit.

I just watched Factory Girl (ya, i know im a little late), but you gave that flattest performance I have seen an actress give since Val Kilmer played a dead guy.

Microsoft Blows....Continuously....

Well Microsoft, you continue to blow...

Your Vista platform was stalled on its release date...and now with the fervor to save XP...your trying to get your panties out of a bundle.

You tried to treat Yahoo like a hooker for on the street...but now all your gonna go do is jerk off in the bathroom

And now this...

take a look at your typical Zune customer...

Real Classy